i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
