Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize