Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Randomize
