did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
A bitchslap is in order.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
