Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Randomize
