i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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