they need to just BURY HIM!
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
