so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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