4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize