sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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