see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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