As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
