Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
