If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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