kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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