I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
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Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
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after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
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