The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
