So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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