i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
