we have officially lost it.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
