i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
