i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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