For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
