it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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