so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon