you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I wish i was in the wii world.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
