We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
