And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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