mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
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