Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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