Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
