Having a random hookup so left but love u
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
How naked do you want me to be?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
