i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize