bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
