Non-Jews are for practice
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
