You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
