she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
