now i know why i became what i already was.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
