Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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