I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
