just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
