Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
