Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
A bitchslap is in order.
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