Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
