i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
