Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize