Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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