It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
