I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
