Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
