Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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