She said her name was "party"
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
