I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
