I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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