Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
