Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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