D3 body, D1 cock
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
