im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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